She said it was hard for her to be turned on, given the physical condition we're in, and she couldn't understand how I would find her sexually attractive. I told her that my attraction to her was based more than on superficial appearance. It was a collection of things that clicked in my mind.
A reader posed a series of questions to me in a followup comment:
Does your wife ever climax by intercourse with you?
She says experienced an orgasm from intercourse with me once, early in our relationship, probably sometime in 1993.
Only the vibrator?
I have brought her to orgasm through two additional routes: fingertips and oral. She perfers the vibrator because she says she's feels gross down there. If she does allow me to do either of the alternatives, it is only after I have washed her off with soap and warm water.
And what did she mean by the condition "WE" are in? Does she feel you are in bad shape?
We are both overweight. I'm 6'0", around 270 lbs. Most of the excess weight is in my lower abdomen. Legs and thighs are in pretty good shape. She's 5'3", around 260 lbs. Most of the weight is in her thighs.
I've begun to realize just out of shape she is. We started taking walks in our neighborhood a couple weeks ago. After about half a mile, she is worn out. I can handle longer walking distances under more extreme temperatures.
She has invoked the out-of-shape language is several forms.
About a year ago, during an argument about sex, she said that my weight atop her was crushing her, and she felt claustrophobic.
On multiple times, she's complained that she doesn't feel sexy about her body. I avoid making remarks that might make her feel that way. She watches a lot of soaps and reality TV, so she is bombarded with images of unrealistically thin women. At times she has commented about my shape not making her feel sexy.
She's also complained that the weight makes it harder to achieve good penetration. I admit that I do not have much going for me in terms of masculine length.
