Your remarks on boredom make a lot of sense with the additional contextual material.
my husband turns me on immensely when I have the vague feeling that I can't control him...that he is his own person...I'm not talking about being cruel...I just mean it keeps me on my toes...keeps me guessing.
I think that you might be onto something here. I haven't read it in detail, but I believe that this is also one of the ideas in the Why Your Wife Won't Have Sex With You weblog and possibly in the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. I have the latter on order from Amazon right now.
If my husband was constantly asking me questions about what my "love language" is and so forth...sex with him would feel more like a dreaded homework assignment!
I'm thinking it might be time to fire our marriage counselor because the stuff she's recommending just isn't getting the negotiation anywhere.
I was wondering if you are looking for a reason to have sex with someone else. If the reason or collection of reasons is compelling enough, then you can cheat on your wife but justify it to yourself. Again, no judgements here, but this could REALLY cloud your vision of your wife. Be honest with yourself about your motivations.
Thanks for the reality check. It's certainly a valid question. I think if I was trying to obtain a rationale for infidelity, I would have done so years ago because her avoidance of sex has been a recurring theme throughout our relationship. The strain has been accumulating over a period of maybe eight or nine years.
I think I'm at a point where I'm asking myself, "Am I insane to keep hoping that things will somehow change? How many more other excuses can I come up with for her disinterest other than she's not hot for me? Is it fixable at all?" Putting up with it for this long just to get a clear conscience for going astray seems like an exercise in masochism to me.
