Saturday, June 09, 2007

Words of Reassurance

Stuff you probably won't hear from your standard marriage counselor:
What behaviors are predictive of divorce when couples reach critical mass? One partner tries to stop the process rather than go through it: he refuses to grow and tries to undermine the other's differentiation via argument, abuse, withdrawal, or "falling apart." Basically, he is trying to overpower the process of differentiation inherent in the system of marriage. His strategy of "I'm not growing and neither are you" is inherently doomed. (David Schnarch, Passionate Marriage, p. 372).
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