Wednesday, June 20, 2007

What if Roles were Reversed?

Law Girl poses a good question in a comment:
If the two of you had made the decision that she was to be the primary wage earner, and she were to relocate for her job, would you go?

I have no doubt that I would answer "yes" to that question. In fact, I have answered "yes" to that question under weaker circumstances.

We moved to the city where we currently reside about seven years ago. We didn't move here because of a job. We moved here so that she could be close to her best friend.

At the time, we were looking to move from a rental into a house. I had just reached a decision regarding the ultimatum over having children. I was getting a promotion at my employer, with a good increase in pay. The debt management program we had been in for the past three years would be completed in less than a year.

The question was: "Where were we going to throw down our roots?" Over the past year, we had been making trips on the weekend to visit with her best friend and her husband as they went through a difficult time with their newborn baby. My wife thought it would be best for us to be closer to them. Me, being the passive, keep-her-happy type at the time, agreed to this arrangement.

As part of a promotion with my employer at the time, I negotiated a telecommuting arrangement so that I could work offsite. That spared me the trouble of finding a job in market that was lean. In the process, I sacrificed upward mobility within the company, and I placed myself in near total professional isolation.

All other issues aside, if she was the one bringing home the bacon, and it required her to relocate, I would be following along.
blog comments powered by Disqus