Some Advice from the Therapist

I talked with my therapist on Monday regarding the conversation I had with my wife last Friday. She said that I shouldn't read too much into my wife's words. There is a distinction between "do not want to" and "will not", even if there are tears involved.

She recommended that I speak with potential long-distance employers about what resources are available for getting families settled in a new area. If they have any kinds of programs for bringing a spouse in for a tour of the area, take advantage of it. In essence, make my wife an integral part of the decision making process. She said it was important to have support resources lined up before moving.

We also talked about another facet of my career search that I haven't articulated well with my wife. I've told her that my skill set is not in high demand here. Moreover, when recruiters have tried to make the case that I am willing to pick up new skills, the clients are adamant about having someone with no less than x years of experience with name brand technology y.

In order for me to become more marketable locally, I'm going to have to invest in some formal education and possibly vendor certification to convince these kinds of employers that I'm for real. Money and time commitments aside, one has to take a look at the return on that investment. This will migrate me from new technology development into custom application development. The latter of the two is arguably less value added and more likely to be offshored into the future. Bottom line: it does not make financial sense to invest in self-commoditization.

The therapist suggested I try to make this clear to my wife. She needs to know that although making the change might help me stay here in the short run, it entails risk because I might wind up being an occupational dinosaur. That's bad because it undermines my ability to provide for my family.