But recently I saw on another blog a reference to a quiz on his website to assess the sex in your marriage. I had to check it out. If you are interested, go here and check it out. Its a very short quiz.
I scored a 34. Right in the middle. I wonder how some of my readers would do!
OK, I'll play along
YOUR SCORE IS: 19
10-20 points: Sex is dead. Unless you're happy with your life as it is, you need to put serious time and effort into jump-starting the intimate side of your relationship. It's possible to revive your sexual connection, but you need to do something to "shock" it back to life again. This will take ongoing effort and collaboration with your partner, but take it upon yourself to get things restarted. The rewards are often well worth your time and energy. Couples who gave up on their sexual relationship long ago are able to breathe new life into it. Hugging 'till relaxed and eye-gazing out of bed (described in the accompanying Six Tips for Creating a more Passionate Relationship) would be good places to start. Whatever you do, do it from the best in you, and reach out to the best in your partner.
Here is how I answered. My selections are indicated with an "x".
1. How often do you and your partner have sex (on average)?
Not in the last year (1 point)
x Several times a year (2 points)
Once or twice a month (3 points)
Once or twice a week (4 points)
Four or five times a week (5 points)
2. What are the longest periods you have gone without having sex together?
7 months to a year or more (1 point)
x 3-6 months (2 points)
1-2 months (3 points)
2-3 weeks (4 points)
A week (5 points)
3. Just how passionate and erotic is your sexual relationship?
Sex is non-existent (1 point)
x Sex is passionless, mechanical, and non-erotic (2 points)
Sex is friendly but predictable and uninspired, lacking in creativity and spontaneity (3 points)
Sex is pretty steamy (4 points)
If it got any hotter, our bed might catch fire (5 points)
4. How much intimacy and emotional connection is present when you have sex?
Sex is an intense meeting of our minds and souls, and not just our bodies. (5 points)
Sex is a little personal, but much of "who I am sexually" never really shows. (4 points)
x Sex is mostly on trading orgasms. (3 points)
There is no joining. I spend most of my time fantasizing about other partners, or thinking about other things. (2 points)
Sex is non-existent (1 point)
5. Do you and your partner structure your relationship to avoid sex and intimacy?
We go to bed at the same time and use it as a time to connect including sexually. (5 points)
We go to bed at the same time and connect, but it rarely leads to sex. (4 points)
We go to bed at the same time, but there is no physical or emotional connection between us. (3 points)
x We go to bed at different times to avoid having sex. (2 points)
We sleep in different bedrooms or live apart much of the time. (1 point)
6. How often do you and your partner kiss during sex?
We kiss multiple times in almost every sexual encounter (5 points)
We kiss at least once in three quarters of our sexual encounters (4 points)
We kiss at least once in half of our sexual encounters (3 points)
x We rarely kiss when we have sex (2 points)
We never have sex (1 point)
7. Do you and your partner ever have eyes-open sex?
I and/or my partner sometimes have orgasms while looking into each others eyes. (5 points)
We sometimes make eye-contact during sex. (4 points)
We open our eyes, but never make eye-contact. (3 points)
x One or both of us keep our eyes closed during sex. (2 points)
We never have sex (1 point)
8. Do you and/or your partner have sexual dysfunctions (problems with lubrication or erections, or orgasms)?
Neither of us have difficulty getting aroused or having orgasms. (5 points)
I am (and/or my partner is) slow to arouse, but once we get started, we don't have any difficulties. (4 points)
One or both of us occasionally have difficulty with arousal and/or orgasms. (3 points)
x One or both of us frequently have difficulty with arousal and/or orgasms. (2 points)
We never have sex (1 point)
9. Do you or your partner struggle with low desire to have sex (before you start)?
x Almost always (1 point)
Usually (2 points)
Sometimes (3 points)
Rarely (4 points)
Never (5 points)
10. Do you or your partner have problems with lack of desire during sex?
x Almost always (1 point)
Usually (2 points)
Sometimes (3 points)
Rarely (4 points)
Never (5 points)
