For a while now, I have held this belief that desire out of fullness and heroism are linked in some way, but I haven't done much journaling on what that link looks like. On the drive home today, I heard a beautiful song XM's Loft (channel 50). It was "Hero in Me" by Jefferey Gaines, which appeared on a self-titled CD release back in 1992. I found a lone website with the lyrics, and I'm quoting them here because they speak strongly to the themes covered in this blog.
He’s lived as long as he possibly can
Given the circumstance.
Because he’s protected himself from the world
He never gave it a chance, and he says
Here in my security
I’ve put a limit on my self-potential and my possibility.
She’s seen these walls and they never change
Everything’s in its place.
Her relationships so neatly arranged
Down to religion and race, and she says
Here in my security
I don’t make a move unless my friends approve, I do what’s expected of me.
And as I grow older, and there’s so much that I do not know…
I’m drawn to those who are older, and go where no one dared to go.
And I Sleep, and I dream of the person I might have been, and I’ll be free again
And I Speak, like someone who’s been to the highest peaks, and back again
And I Swear, that my grass is greener than anyone’s, until I believe again
Then I Wake, and the dream fades away and I face the day and I realize
That there’s got to be some hero in me, there’s got to be some hero in me,
there’s got to be some hero in me, there’s got to be some hero in me.
They’ve been suppressing their every desire,
They do nothing on a whim
She’s lost her sparkle and he’s lost the fire
Their future looks very dim, and I say
Here in my security
I’ve simply let myself go out, develop a cold dependency
And as I grow older, and so many places that I have not been…
Time is tapping my shoulder, I hope its never too late to begin.
And I Sleep, and I dream of the person I might have been, and I’ll be free again
And I Speak, like someone who’s been to the highest peaks, and back again
And I Swear, that my grass is greener than anyone’s, until I believe again
Then I Wake, and the dream fades away and I face the day and I realize
That there’s got to be some hero in me, there’s got to be some hero in me,
there’s got to be some hero in me, there’s got to be some hero in me
Some things are very clear from the text... not wanting to want, relying on others for validation, the desire to transcend one's limitations.
Sometime before the weekend is over, I will revisit a passage from this song and try to link it to some posts I've read on other blogs regarding the lack of spark that the authors feel for "nice" guys.
