I am just worried about the children in the event of a divorce. 2AM, you're talking about expanding your job search to the coasts, and that would mean little face time with your kids, who are still very small. I can't be happy about that. Children are young for a short time (it's scary almost to me how fast mine are growing up), and they need a lot.
Having said that, your wife sounds selfish and like a poor spouse. Here I refer more to her monetary habits than anything else. As for the sex, there's something deeply wrong there (viz. the vomiting during heavy petting), and it's beyond your abilities or those of your reader/voyeurs to fix.
It's a terrible situation. I'm sorry you got into it to begin with, but now the children exist and need to be considered.
(Incidentally I am an ENTJ).
You are absolutely right about the kids. You're not the only one who has confronted me with this.
As I talked about the ideas in the Self Dissolution post with my therapist this past Wednesday, she reminded me that moving too far away would reduce my ability to be an involved dad. She recommended that I read The Good Divorce to educate myself, should I decide that divorce is my choice.
My conscience admonishes me several times a day, too, like when I am snuggling with the kids or giving them a bath. This weekend, we were preparing a routine batch of pictures to send to our adoption agency, who forwards them to the birth mom of our older daughter. You can't imagine how the guilt flowed through my veins as I wrote the update letter to the birth mom.
I am trying to avoid a rush to decide, while at the same time trying not to wallow in indecision. It hurts.
