Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Maybe I Need a Blue Ribbon Panel for This?

Anais writes:
At one time I felt as though I should remind you that when the deadline you set for yourself arrives, you are allowed to decide to give yourself an extension of time (and not make a decision or take any immediate action). However, having read what Sophia wrote makes me want to root for you to leave your wife as soon after your deadline as you can. But yeah . . . you have eight more weeks to try to make a go of things with your wife. And she may surprise you yet. Good luck to you, whatever happens.

You're right. My deadline is a little under 56 days and 16 hours away. I also agree that I shouldn't give myself an extension because that's just dragging out a choice I've long been avoiding.

The comments from Sophia , the Drunken Housewife, and you have led me to a state of resignation. Sometimes even changing yourself isn't enough.

When your spouse isn't interested in hearing what you have to say or reading what you write and shuts down any attempts to open a dialogue on change, that's a good sign that he or she is not only happy with the way things are. He or she wouldn't have it any other way. At that point, maybe giving up on the marriage and moving on is the thing to do because what the other spouse wants really isn't a marriage after all.

The decision is not final, but it's enough to start sketching out the exit strategy. The pressure is on me because not only am I working against a "defecate or abdicate" deadline on the marriage, I'm trying to decide what to do about employment options. To me those decisions have some degree of overlap.
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