Tuesday, April 24, 2007

She Will Not be Moved

My wife and I had two discussions about the job offer last night. One was over dinner, without the kids, and the other was just before we went to bed.

I might write more about the details if I can collect my thoughts and recollections better. But for right now here are the bottom line points:

  • She doesn't believe that the offer in the Silicon Valley will pay enough for us to live on, based on what she read about the cost of living there.

  • She didn't think I would be very happy for long out there, just like I was happy with my current job only for a little while.

  • She said that all of our vacation time would be used to visit family back home, and that I would be grumpy the whole time.

  • She wondered whether I felt tied down by her and the kids, and if they were out of the picture, I would take the offer no questions asked.

  • She thinks that I haven't tried hard enough to find local jobs, suggesting that I should be cold calling companies that hire software developers.

  • She said that I should get involved in doing some volunteer work so that I don't think so much about myself and realize just how good I've got it.

  • She questioned whether I would find the run-of-the-mill programming jobs here to be as boring as I say they are.

  • She said she doesn't know what to do about my general feeling of unhappiness, and noted that although I was excited about the offer on Thursday, the feeling didn't stay around long.

  • She asked me whether I thought some medication might help me deal with this situation better.

When she told me, "I love you," before we went to sleep. I had to pause for a moment, then I struggled out an, "I love you, too." She asked me whether I was sure. I told her that it was difficult for me to feel loving at the time.

At least I've got therapy this afternoon. I am having a hard time keeping it all together.
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