Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Digesting the Impact of the Disclosure

As I so tersely noted on Sunday night, our closest relatives were notified of our plans to separate and divorce. We presented a united front on this, giving only the basics:

  • The decision was not made in haste.

  • We had sought counseling before reaching this decision.

  • My wife would be moving to an apartment because she did not want the job of keeping up the house and she wanted the kids to be in the same school system as her friends' kids.

  • The move would take place in early August, with completion around the time that our older daughter started kindergarten.

My dad and brother didn't have much to say, but that's no surprise because none of us were very open to each other about our troubles.

My mom and sister-in-law said the news was shocking. They also offered to help in any way that they could.

According to my sister-in-law, my 8 year-old niece, whom we see only three or four times a year, was emotionally shaken by the news and asked her mother and father to never divorce.

My mother-in-law, whom I feared would be the most emotionally brittle, based on past experiences, took it pretty well. She said that she had sensed something was not right for a few months because she said Roma had seemed so unhappy the last few times that she saw my wife.

My stepmom said that that she had a clue that something might be amiss one of the times she came up to visit the girls. She said that she saw the where I had been sleeping and asked my younger daughter whose bed that was, and she said, "That's daddy's bed." I guess that's a better answer that what she could have said. Normally she refers to the bed as belonging to one of my wife's old friends, who used it when she stayed here one weekend earlier this year.

We've also tried to explain the situation to the girls, but they don't quite understand the situation. Both of them seem to be excited that they will be getting a newly decorated room with Tinkerbelle theme.

So all in all, things are stable for now. I just hope my relatives give me some space because I am in no capacity really to talk about this with them. There's just too many old emotions entangled there.
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