Friday, November 17, 2006

Back to the Blogging

It's been a couple weeks since the last post in this space. I'm still out there, and I'm still working on my issues.

Thanks to all who have dropped me a line to check up on me. A special thank you goes out to sixdegrees, who kindly posted some uplifting Bob Seger lyrics in a prior comment. Not only were they relevant, the song itself was a pretty deep cut. I have a soft spot for obscure and underappreciated music.

It's been a mixture of hardware problems and writer's block that has kept this place so quiet.

About two weeks ago, my home computer went dark for no apparent reason. The lack of responsiveness to pressing the power switch led me to believe that either the power supply or the motherboard had gone bad.

Given the tightness of our financial situation, it wouldn't be possible to purchase any new hardware until the next pay day. Consequently, I didn't even bother cracking open up the case over fear of what I would find. If it did turn out to be the motherboard, that would have just stirred up anger over my wife's past excessive spending. Better to keep the charcoal starter fluid locked up.

With the PC temporarily kaputt, I chose to keep my mind distracted by rereading portions of Schnarch and getting a grip on projections that stir up my anxiety. I also did some thinking about how I could self soothe myself better. Unfortunately, I fell out of the habit of staying up later, going to bed perhaps an hour or so after I had tucked the kids in.

Some testing over the previous weekend showed that it was a bad power supply, so on Monday, I purchased a new one by cashing in a rebate gift card that I had received several months ago. After the credit, it was only $27 and some change.

Even with the PC operating again, I found it hard to get back into writing. Most nights this week, I wound up going to bed well before midnight.

The writer's block stems from a bunch of ideas that have been bouncing around my head that have failed to coalesce into something coherent. I've been able to express facets of them on comments that I've posted on other blogs. When you don't have a good definition of yourself, it's much easier to see the dynamics play out in others' relationships than it is in your own.

Tonight, the wife and kids are spending the night at her mom's house, so I'll try to break the dry spell and clear out the mental backlog. Well, that and some much needed housecleaning.
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