tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post8887139230520107149..comments2023-03-21T07:07:50.202-04:00Comments on 2amsomewhere: Temperatures Cold, Relationship ColderUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-27565862145106608362007-01-10T23:09:00.000-05:002007-01-10T23:09:00.000-05:00You don't need to keep the card a secret from your...You don't need to keep the card a secret from your wife. You just need to make sure she can't use it. All that means is that you keep the card, the credit card numbers and the expiration date away from her. Otherwise, she can use it without your knowledge or consent. You can explain to her exactly why you're getting the card and why she can't have access to it. You can even offer her a brief look at the monthly bill -- of course, only if she agrees to show you HER monthly bills. (This assumes you aren't quite ready to seize control of the bill paying.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-84024501227930688232007-01-10T22:56:00.000-05:002007-01-10T22:56:00.000-05:00Anais writes:
if I read this correctly, I think y...Anais <a href="http://2amsomewhere.blogspot.com/2007/01/temperatures-cold-relationship-colder.html#19836482874159831">writes</a>:<br /><br /><i>if I read this correctly, I think you're free now to open a credit account in your own name?</i><br /><br />Yes, that is correct. The moratorium was only for the duration of the program. <br /><br />After we completed that program, I was in no hurry to get a new card, and I thought it might be a sign of good faith on my part to reassure my wife that all financial transactions were above board.<br /><br />Getting a card in my name and keeping it secret now would certainly send my wife into code red because she would accuse me of wanting to use it for "acting out". <br /><br />The double standard is not lost on me.<br /><br />It think this is one of those places where I'm supposed to self-validate rather than appease.<br /><br />--<br />2amsomewhere2amsomewherehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12343733349708172680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-198364828741598312007-01-10T22:38:00.000-05:002007-01-10T22:38:00.000-05:00So -- if I read this correctly, I think you're fre...So -- if I read this correctly, I think you're free now to open a credit account in your own name? If so, yeah, it's time. I also think it sounds like time for you to take over the finances. You can still let her retain some financial independence, by giving her a certain amount of money (in cash) to spend as she sees fit. In your place, I would be wrestling that Discover card away from her about now.<br /><br />As for her new friend . . . gawd, I'm still thinking your wife is some kind of repressed lesbian. And/Or experienced some bizarre sexual trauma in her early life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-31614451700739159352007-01-10T21:54:00.000-05:002007-01-10T21:54:00.000-05:00This is irrelevant to the relationship issues, but...<i>This is irrelevant to the relationship issues, but may I suggest that you get a credit card in your own name (and only your name) and use it only for clear emergencies such as this one, and that you take personal responsibility for paying it off as soon as you possibly can (preferably right away)? You also might want to keep the card completely hidden away from your wife so she can't attempt to use it.</i><br /><br />Good idea. I stopped carrying a credit card in my name almost a decade ago because of the trouble I got into with the phone sex calls [1]. <br /><br />I still have a bank-issued Visa debit card that's attached to my checking account, but that wouldn't have been of any help because of checking account funds.<br /><br /><i>I hope you guys are warmer tonight.</i><br /><br />The climate was more hospitable both thermally and emotionally once I got home. Shortly after I left for work, the preschool mom friend who offered to watch the kids came over with her two boys. The kids kept each other busy for a couple hours. The wife and kids then got a couple hours of afternoon napping in.<br /><br />Interesting side note, if you enjoy tinfoil hat speculation. The preschool mom friend is becoming a more frequent friend than her "best" friend these days, both in terms of spending time together and talking on the phone. <br /><br />The big difference? The preschool mom has a husband who works as a security guard on long term contract for a client about two hours away, so he's gone most of the time.<br /><br /><i>Hmmm . . . remind me why you haven't taken over the family finances and confiscated her credit card(s)?</i><br /><br />Because I've still got enough wimp in me to believe that assuming full control would have been too much of a control freak. During the October discussion, we did go through a number of measures to cut costs, and we talked about bill paying priorities, but she still retained power of the checkbook. I need to "grow a pair" as they often say.<br /><br />[1] -- All debt that arose from the phone sex activity was placed under the control of a debt management plan with CCCS in the fall of 1997 and paid off in full in the spring of 2001. As part of entry into the program, we had to freeze all credit cards and give up the application for new ones.2amsomewherehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12343733349708172680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-56361645736530030022007-01-10T21:21:00.000-05:002007-01-10T21:21:00.000-05:00This is irrelevant to the relationship issues, but...This is irrelevant to the relationship issues, but may I suggest that you get a credit card in your own name (and only your name) and use it only for clear emergencies such as this one, and that you take personal responsibility for paying it off as soon as you possibly can (preferably right away)? You also might want to keep the card completely hidden away from your wife so she can't attempt to use it.<br /><br />I hope you guys are warmer tonight. Hmmm . . . remind me why you haven't taken over the family finances and confiscated her credit card(s)?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com