tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post3724548250640803987..comments2023-03-21T07:07:50.202-04:00Comments on 2amsomewhere: When is a Spouse Avoiding Intimacy?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-33685064947513586282007-05-30T20:59:00.000-04:002007-05-30T20:59:00.000-04:00A sock? You got a sock?Lucky bastard. I have to do...A sock? You got a <I>sock</I>?<BR/><BR/>Lucky bastard. <I>I</I> have to do my <I>own</I> laundry.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-69497952890488096262007-05-30T17:48:00.000-04:002007-05-30T17:48:00.000-04:00As the sith of avoidance (or her apprentice, I can...As the sith of avoidance (or her apprentice, I can't quite decide) more obligations can definitely be a dodge. The way you tell is with the result: does the increase in obligations go on despite a partner's protesting that it is costing the relationship? If Martha is still fucking her husband regularly, I say go and be well! If Mr. Stewart is left with nothing but porn and sock every night, Martha is avoiding.<BR/><BR/>I used to try to do things to lessen the load from my wife so that she would have more time and energy for intimacy. The result was she found more chores.<BR/><BR/>Darth 'VoiderDigger Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14124199304493126929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-1869553252629787232007-05-30T15:00:00.000-04:002007-05-30T15:00:00.000-04:00Well, consider, Cat - if both you and I think it's...Well, consider, Cat - if both you and I think it's a little more slanted, then perhaps it's really fairly equal both ways. <BR/><BR/>If a woman is a SAHM, then there's no reason why she can't be making cakes and runnign the PTA and stuff. But still, you'd also think that she'd have energy to be more affectionate after dinner. ;-)Tom Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04208222697436091267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-73196446072431454912007-05-30T13:35:00.000-04:002007-05-30T13:35:00.000-04:00he said...she said it really does always come back...he said...she said it really does always come back to that doesn't it?Cathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04429112740298181455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-79670924118970101812007-05-30T12:06:00.000-04:002007-05-30T12:06:00.000-04:00There just always seems to be a little more discri...<I>There just always seems to be a little more discrimination for the woman who is involved with her children or baking or involved in the PTA than the man who is obsessed with work.</I><BR/><BR/>Really? When I look at movies, tv, dinner party conversations, etc., I tend to see more discrimination against the man. But perhaps I'm just more sensitive to that, what with being a man and all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-24826721284547256092007-05-30T09:38:00.000-04:002007-05-30T09:38:00.000-04:00I would have to agree when you asked your wife for...I would have to agree when you asked your wife for more intimacy and she found more and more to do away from you that is a clear sign of dodging. I also agree with 2am that a topic like this could easily slip into generalizations. <BR/><BR/>There just always seems to be a little more discrimination for the woman who is involved with her children or baking or involved in the PTA than the man who is obsessed with work. There just always seems to be more of a tone with the title "suzy homemaker or Martha Stewart on Steroids" than the workaholic. And maybe that is just my own point of view clouding things...<BR/><BR/>Oh and again, sorry 2am :)Cathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04429112740298181455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-45047753071956223482007-05-28T22:56:00.000-04:002007-05-28T22:56:00.000-04:00It doesn't have to be an "either/or" thing at all,...It doesn't have to be an "either/or" thing at all, and I never intimated that she did these things in order to avoid intimacy and not out of enjoyment. Indeed, Mrs. Edge is really a very competent homemaker, and honestly enjoys volunteering at her church, helping run the PTA book fairs, and all that stuff that would make me crazy. <BR/><BR/>However...<BR/><BR/>We had a period - a long period - in which it seemed as if she took on more and more tasks. Yes, she enjoyed them, but it was also during a period when I was asking for more emotional commitment from her. I stopped hinting and acting hurt and making snide comments, and got right into it: I need more intimacy from you, I need more than conversations about school, the kids, and vacations. I need for us to be more involved with each other. <BR/><BR/>I told her that it seemed as if the more I asked, the more energy she seemed to put into everything else. Was that avoiding intimacy? I now think that it was. Yes, she enjoyed her activities, but that doesn't make them less of a dodge. <BR/><BR/>Keep in mind that for years, men have been accused of avoiding intimacy by being workaholics, but staying at the office, going to meetings, networking, etc. Sure, most of them probably enjoyed the jobs, but for many men, it's still a way to avoid intimacy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com