tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post116101807342275476..comments2023-03-21T07:07:50.202-04:00Comments on 2amsomewhere: 2am Answers Some CommentsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-1161277029967590622006-10-19T12:57:00.000-04:002006-10-19T12:57:00.000-04:00It's true that the cable bill is not what got them...It's true that the cable bill is not what got them into this hole, but the way to get out of a hole is to stop unnecessary spending and pay off debt. It's ridiculous to pay $100+ a month for cable when you're living beyond your means. The ebay spending also has to stop, and the Starbucks spending (if you read financial advice columns, again and again it comes up that if you regularly spend small amounts on things like Starbucks, it adds up over the year to thousand(s)). Austerity measures are called for, and if they can't work together as a team, they're fucked. Divorce isn't a good solution to money problems because it costs more to maintain two households than one.the Drunken Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14606104534453493304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-1161199512138793192006-10-18T15:25:00.000-04:002006-10-18T15:25:00.000-04:00I don't think the issue is your cable bill. I sus...I don't think the issue is your cable bill. I suspect she's overspending on e-bay. Just my guess.<BR/><BR/>And, can't she pick up some hours at work to help out?Troublehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16553273498093394669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-1161059697815331422006-10-17T00:34:00.000-04:002006-10-17T00:34:00.000-04:00Incidentally, one of the things I cut out personal...Incidentally, one of the things I cut out personally was trips to Starbucks & other coffee expenses. I started drinking my coffee only at home & buying cheaper beans. (I'm a big coffee snob, but I needed to stop pissing away money on lattes and coffee light frappuccinos). Those things add up. Maybe you could make a deal that you'll brownbag your lunches at least twice a week if she cuts back on Starbucks. If she goes a week with no Starbucks, you go a week brownbagging your lunch. <BR/><BR/>I suspect my spending excesses were different from your wife's. I cut out having my hair professionally cut (I cut my own hair usually), getting waxed (no more leg waxes & Brazilian waxes, sigh), having professional eyebrow shaping, going to Starbucks, subscribing to the Wall St. Journal, and buying books. I also cut waaaaay back on buying clothes for myself and my children; I started shopping for the kids at Goodwill (I have found some amazingly cool clothes there that people endlessly envy). I started buying "Two Buck Chuck" wine by the case instead of picking up a bottle here and there of the more expensive wines I prefer. I also did more of the grocery shopping at a discount market I hate, as opposed to buying the organic produce at my favorite market. I also go out of my way to go to the gas station which has the lowest prices for paying with cash, as opposed to filling up at whatever station is convenient. We stopped having a regular date night, which we miss, but we saved a ton. We went to the library regularly instead of me buying books.<BR/><BR/>Anyhow, just sharing what I did, and we did make it work.the Drunken Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14606104534453493304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31278044.post-1161059019031740912006-10-17T00:23:00.000-04:002006-10-17T00:23:00.000-04:00You guys aren't going to get out of this hole, fin...You guys aren't going to get out of this hole, financially and maritally, without making a big joint effort. If your wife is not even willing to cancel the cable, then she's not willing to work on the financial problems and not willing to make the commitment to be financially responsible. Perhaps you need to lay it out to her, tell her that you guys need to fix the finances whether you stay married or not, but that if you can work as a team on this, perhaps you can truly be a team and stay together.<BR/><BR/>I relate somewhat to your predicament, because my husband and I were living way beyond our means. We sensed it, but we were largely living in denial. Then my husband did an in-depth analysis of our spending, and we were shocked. We were clearly headed towards insolvency/having to sell our house. So we made a list of things we needed to do without, and we made some sacrifices. My husband also took a part-time job, and I did a bit of work as well (I'm currently a stay-at-home parent). We made a concerted joint effort, and we managed to live within our means the next calendar year. We still have debt (mortgage & second mortgage), but we are not adding to it & are keeping up our payments. We're planning to pay down the second mortgage. But it takes two to make this kind of fixing-the-finances work. <BR/><BR/>A last, unpleasant thought: two households are more expensive than one. If you divorce, you're going to be stretched thin unless this woman starts earning some decent money.<BR/><BR/>Have you read the desperate husband's blog? he's working on similar money & sex issues with his marriage & blogging about it.the Drunken Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14606104534453493304noreply@blogger.com